“Why Couldn’t That Nutter Have Picked Another MP?” Thinks Everyone Secretly

After hearing about the tragic murder of Labour MP Jo Cox, everyone is secretly thinking about which politician they would rather have taken her place, it has emerged.

“If I was a gun-wielding mentalist about to embark on a parliamentary killing spree, I’d like to think Cox would be the last person on my mind,” said Twitter user Gary Upton. “I mean come on, there are some real shits in there.”