“Wow, That Jo Cox Murder Was Convenient,” Says Illuminati

The murder of a pro-EU politician one week before the EU referendum was just a random coincidence, according to an Illuminati spokesperson. 

The shocking murder of Labour MP Jo Cox, supposedly by a “quiet but friendly” volunteer gardener who just happened to scream “Britain First!” during the attack, has already impacted the referendum debate. 

Both the Leave and Remain camps decided to suspend their campaigns after news of the murder first broke.

Then, almost immediately, Cox’s death was politicised and exploited by the mainstream media in order to paint Leave campaigners as violent extremists, just as the Leave campaign was edging ahead in the polls.

But according to an Illuminati spokesperson, this was all just a happy coincidence. “Look, it’s been no secret that our shadowy order of death is hell-bent on creating a technocratic one world government, and the EU was a crucial stepping stone on our way to achieving this. But do you really think we would orchestrate something this crude and obvious to influence the vote in our favour? Oh, actually that does sound like something we might do. Shit.” 

But Seriously…

  • One of the most prominent figures to make the “Britain First” claim, Maria Eagle MP, has since deleted her tweet.
  • One of the first people to claim that they heard “Britain First” being screamed by the attacker, later admitted that he wasn’t actually there and was “stuck in traffic” at the time.
  • According to LBC, another witness left a written note in the laundrette’s window categorically stating that “no one shouted Britain First at any time”. An LBC reporter then spoke to the owner, who insisted “he has not spoken to anyone who heard that phrase”.
  • Witness reports differ drastically regarding what (if anything) was actually shouted. Gas fitter Clarke Rothwell insisted that the assailant DID shout “Britain First” whilst another eyewitness told cameras that he “never heard that”.
  • Guardian writer Charlie Skelton predicted a “security” scare would impact the outcome of Brexit, as detailed in this great article by Paul Joseph Watson.
  • And is a global plan to introduce a tyrannical one world government really that hard to believe?